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social Messengers. These are the best collection of one line English funny
status for whatsapp & Facebook forever.
@ Decided to
burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
@ Life is
like photography, You use the negatives to develop.
@ Love may
be blind but neighbors aren’t… Be careful.
@ Loving you
is like breathing How can I stop?
@ Marriage
is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
@ My life is
about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-Mart
@ My one
more password got married yesterday.
@ My only
real long term goal is to never end up on Maury.
@ My
relationship status? Netflix, Oreos and sweatpants
@ My study
period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
@ Never let
your friends feel lonely. Disturb them all the time.
@ Don’t
browse my phone when I give it for viewing an image.
@ Don’t live
the same year 75 times and call it a life !
@ Don’t mind
the weather, it’s raining in my heart tonight.
@ I looked
at my Instagram photos and realized I look beautiful.
@ I love my
six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat :)
@ I love
sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast
@ Do You
Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.
@ Don’t
blindly follow the masses. Sometimes the m is Silent.
@ I love to
walk in fog, Because nobody knows i am smoking.
@ I m not
special, I am just a LIMITED EDITION
@ I need
total Six months of vacation, Twice a year.
@ I never
fail… It’s my success that is postponed.
@ If you
want to be rude then you should become a celebrity.
@ Impossible
after splitting becomes I m possible
@ In an
interview, “I can multitask housework with facebook!”
@ In my
house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
@ Life is
short, false, it’s the longes thing you do
@ Life’s not
about money, it’s about love & I love MONEY!
@ Live the
live you want to, not the one you’re supposed to
@ Love
doesn’t show up on an X-ray….but it’s there.
@ Don’t play
dumb with me. That’s a game you can’t win.
@ Don’t
sleep until you’re hungry and eat until you’re asleep.
@ Don’t take
life too seriously, you won’t get out of it alive.
@ Don’t
judge a person without walking a mile in his shoes.
@ Dont
invest emotions, Love is a depreciating asset
@ Everything
funnier when youre supposed to be quiet..
@ I hope
Karma slaps you in the face before i do.!!
@ I just had
to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
@ I know i
am something, Because god doesn’t create garbage.
@ I liked
memes before they were on Instagram
@ I never
make stupid mistakes, only very-very clever ones.
@ I only
need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep :)
@ If you
don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.
@ If you
don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
@ Distance
is suck… My room is so far away from kitchen :-/
@ I smile
…Because I don’t know WHAT THE HELL is going on.
@ I speak my
mind and I never mind what I speak.
@ I speak my
mind. I never mind what I speak.
@ Difference
between cow dung and bull shit is still unclear …
@ If stupids
could fly, your home would be an airport.
@ If there
is no chocolate in heaven…”I AM NOT GOING”.
@ If you
can’t stop the waves. Why not learn to surf!
@ In
victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.
@ Instagram
is like twitter, but it is for people who can’t read!
@ Instagram
Status is Loading……
@ Invite me
to play Candy Crush one more time
@ Let me
hurt your face, maybe I got a little relief by doing this.
Hopefully,
these Latest Funny Whatsapp Status Quotes may helpful to you and these statuses
may flexible to your social messengers.
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