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@ I am sorry
for those people that disagree with me because I know that they are wrong.
@ Nothing in
the world is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.
@ Ofcourse i
talk to myself, Every once in a while you do need expert advice!!
@ Only 2
things can change women’s mood- 1) I love you, 2) 50% Discount!!
@ People say
that love is in every corner……gosh! maybei’m moving in circles..
@ Politeness
has been become so rare that some people mistake it for flirtation.
@ Roses are
redish, Violets are blueish, if it weren’t for Christmas, we would all be
Jewish!
@ She is so
fake that she should have two Facebook accounts; one for each face!
@ WHEN I
ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED.
@ When I was
kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
@ I am an
actor and a writer and I co-created my breakfast and my son, Malachai.
@ I am so
clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
@ If people
are trying to bring you ‘Down’, It only means that you are ‘Above them’.
@ If people
are trying to bring you down it only means that you are above them.
@ If you ever
think I am ignoring you, I swear I am. My phone is in my hand 24×7
@ If you
want to make your dreams come true, The first thing you have to do is wake up.
@ A bank is
a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
@ A book-store
is only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
@ A good
friend might help you move, but a best friend will help you move a dead body.
@ A
relationship in which a person is always right & the other is Husband –
Marriage.
@ All men
are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.
@ DEAR
WEATHER – don’t be too Romantic plzz. …Your’s sincerely. Coz Some 1 Single
:p
@ Do you
ever just lie on knees and thank god that you know me and my intelligence???
@ Every
mother on earth gave birth to child except my mother, She gave birth to Legend!
@ I married
my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
@ I never
make the same mistake twice. Three, four times maybe. But never twice.
@ I shouldn’t
be allowed to go on Snapchat, Facebook or Instagram when I’m drunk!
@ When I'm a
Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I'm Driving I Hate Pedestrians...
@ When life
gets tough, always remember that you were the strongest sperm.
@ When
someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
@ When you
can’t marry the one you love, :'( – you must marry the one who is rich !!
@ X is the
girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
@ X just
received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.
@ You can’t
fix stupid, no matter how much duct tape you use over their mouth!
@ Hey Math,
try to solve problems on your own. I am sick and tired of doing it for you.
@ I always
feel sad for seedless watermelons, because what if they wanted babies?
@ I swear
Instagram the new Photoshop for some ugly bitches trying to look cute LOL.
@ I swear my
pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
@ I want to
tell what I used to do before I was married – it’s anything I wanted to.
@ I’m not
saying you’re stupid. But you have a little hard luck when it comes to
thinking.
@ My diet
plan: make all of my best friends cookies; the fatter they get, the thinner I
look
@ My family
says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lolz
@ My
favorite kinds of people are the relatives who give money when they leave.
@ I have
Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. I guess that makes me an instant twit face.
@ I have
this new theory that human adolescence doesn’t end until your early thirties.
@ I Like to
study.. Arithmetic - NO ... world history - NO ....chemistry - NO .... GIRLS -
YES!!!
@ I love it
when my computer says ” are you sure you want to continue unprotected “
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