Courtroom Quotations: Lawyer – Witness Funny Forward Message for Whatsapp and Daily facebook Wall updates

Best courtroom simple funny Quotations for whatsapp to forward in your whatsapp chats and groups. These are best forward message in whatsapp and Facebook. These simple funny Quotations containing funny messages and conversation between Lawyer and Witness.  You can also update as your daily wall update to get more likes and comments.

Lawyer: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
Witness: "I went to Europe, sir."
Lawyer: "And you took your new wife?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Eddington at the Rose Chapel?"
Witness: "It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30pm."
Lawyer: "And Mr. Eddington was dead at the time, is that correct?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Are you married?"
Witness: "No, I'm divorced."
Lawyer: "And what did your husband do before you divorced him?"
Witness: "A lot of things I didn't know about."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "And who is this person you are speaking of?"
Witness: "My ex-widow said it.
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?"
Witness: "Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr. Cherney and said he was really good."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
Witness: "No. This is how I dress when I go to work."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

The Court: "Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
Witness: "Oral."
Lawyer: "How old are you?"
Witness: "Oral."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "What is your relationship with the plaintiff?"
Witness: "She is my daughter."
Lawyer: "Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?"
Witness: "He didn't offer me nothing. He just said I could have the furniture."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
Witness: "I could see his head."
Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Do you drink when you're on duty?"
Witness: "I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Witness: "The victim lived."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it? You too were shot in the fracas."
Witness: "No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?"
Witness: "Because he was argumentary, and he couldn't pronunciate his words."

<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "How long have you been a French Canadian?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
Witness: "Four times."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Do you have any children or anything of that kind?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Have you lived in this town all your life?"
Witness: "Not yet."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: (realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question) "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question." 

<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?"
Witness: "No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "What is your marital status?"
Witness: "Fair."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment." 

<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Sir, what is your IQ?"
Witness: "Well, I can see pretty well, I think."
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>

Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
<< ---------------------------------- >>